dream.

by irish written last 2009-07-29
irish felt OK when this was written

i had a dream.
guess who i dreamed about? well.. him.
it's been a while since i last did. i remember last year.. last year was different. it was like every night, my dreamland was him.
anyway, back to the present.
last night, i saw myself in a car. i was in the passenger's seat, he was driving. we were on our way to his house. i think it was nighttime because it's dark and the wind was cold.
i was staring at the road, and apparently, i was mad at him for reasons i can't recall. we were both silent.
and then suddenly, he stopped driving. i felt his hands on my left arm. he was holding me and his touch was much colder than the night air. when i looked at my left hand, he was already tying a knot in a bracelet that appeared out of nowhere. for some reason, we still didn't say anything. i stared at the road again, and he continued driving.
there were many people when we arrived at his house, but no one was familiar to me. so i just stood there, in the middle of everyone, wishing to go home. i wondered where he went, and as i was thinking about this, someone's cold hands suddenly gripped my arms from behind. i turned around, and there he was.
he hugged me tightly, and he whispered, 'i'm sorry. i won't be ignoring you anymore..'
and then, he kissed my left cheek. his lips, like his hands, were cold. i won't forget that feeling. even if i was sleeping, i consciously felt my heart race. it was like i was even smiling.
in my dream, we stood there, close to each other. i hugged him tightly, and after a few seconds, i woke up.
i was right. i was smiling, and my heart was beating so fast. i stared at nothing, recalling the images in my head. alas, i snapped back to reality. i realized that it was just my wild imagination fabricating ideas that make me remember him.. make me remember the pain of giving too much without receiving anything in return.
but i know in my heart that even if it was a dream, i felt him. i felt his touch and his kiss. that, i think, is enough. :)